About this

My Pathetic Homepage was first created in mid 1995 so I could hotlink Glasgow Celtic photos, post scans of people shooting nautical flares at one another, tell people what to think about politics, convince them to buy my fanzine, and get dates. The first two succeeded wonderfully, the third got dull real quick, and the last two never came off at all. Ah the dreams of the springtime of my life!

Between then and now there have been several iterations of this thing. Most have been shortlived (the boredom thing). Most have been green in color. Most have featured a picture of Peter Hooton‘s rare original 1970s Stan Smith all green colorway I ripped out of a copy of The Face sometime in the mid 1980s.

One thing has remained the same: a self-important, if jokey, response to “company name” on my pirated copy of Photoshop 3: The Tomathon.

Slouching into steady employment,


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